Unintentional Guilt

What do you do when you are filled with guilt? Guilt that makes your heart break, guilt that is there simply because your situation turned out differently then someone you know. I have a friend of mine that is going through a horrible time. Her sweet baby is sick and having seizures and they are working to find a way to get everything under control. The guilt on my part is from recently being blessed with a healthy baby boy to date. Also 3 years ago we were blessed with a healthy baby girl who is now a healthy, too smart for her own good, 3 and half year old. What words do you say to a friend who has had their world flipped upside down when you are feeling extremely happy for having this bundle of joy hanging on to you? I could tell her I know how she feels, but does she really want to hear my story? Will it really make her feel any better, probably not since even though I have had a sick child our situations are totally different.
Some people might know that when Alex was born he was born seemingly healthy but 3 days later he was on life support at Children's with a grim outlook. I am not going to get into specifics (that is another post) but him being here today and as healthy and on track for his age is nothing short of a miracle. But with all that said, is that comforting to a mother who's child is in the situation right now?
I am at loss of what to say. How do you handle a situation like this? It can be anywhere from someone losing a loved one to a sick child, divorce, job loss and more. What do our words really mean to someone. I remember wanting just to punch anyone that would tell me it would be ok. I might have had peace with the situation but I did not want to hear from people with perfectly healthy children. Even now to this day I am sensitive about it. My husband will say something and my response will be "you weren't there and you don't understand".
If my friend reads this please let know that I am here for you in whatever way I can be. To everyone else good vibes and prayers also to my friend and your advice would be great.